Visibly gay
I’m the first to admit I’m an acquired taste.
When you first meet me, I’m painfully reserved and have a difficult time carrying a conversation (especially if I don’t find you particularly interesting…shhhhhh…)
And once I warm up, I’m a passionate flailing-muppet-arm word-vomity mess. Without a filter. I overshare. I’m brutally open and truthful to a fault. Some may even call me abrasive or obnoxious.
Especially when you get me going on issues I’m passionate about.
This has been something that has grow painfully clear to me over this past year on my path to a deeper meaning of self awareness.
And so, here I am, with a whole lot to say about things that directly impact me and the people I take care of about, trying to figure out how to speak about them and gently educate people who may not be aware of them and/or strongly argue with them.
There’s a fine line to walk and, over the past election season especially, I have witnessed all sorts of variations of communication and debate.
Continue reading “On Educating On Significant Issues, or I’m Trying To Figure Out How To Not Alienate People By Being Too Passionate A
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Are gay spaces really exceptional?
How do we gauge the homosexual and queer potential of cities and urban spaces? What do designations of gay-friendliness do, or set in motion? Is gay-friendliness a useful framework for understanding “gay life” in cities? In this piece, I draw from my research on everyday life disruptions and queer strategies in Beirut to oppose how “gay spaces” have been used to provide exceptional narratives about cities. I offer my concept of “fractal Orientalism” or Orientalisms within the so-called Middle East, to address how trendy media and some academic studies create frameworks that rely on narrow assumptions about what homosexual and gay-friendly spaces are or entail. Academic studies and journalistic accounts that address queer urban spaces almost exclusively explore gay-male-dominated spaces in major cities and metropolitan centers. Moreover, existing literature privileges gay spaces in the global north, particularly Euro-American cities, although more recently there has been a advance to explore these spaces (or the potential of such spaces) in the global south.
Mar Mikhael district, Beirut. Photo: Ghassan Moussawi.
The process of queering urban spac
But you don’t observe gay: The plight of the queer femme
“Is this your first time here?” she asked, leaning in closer than she needs to and shouting to be heard over the pounding beat of the country music at the local lesbian bar.
“First time? Here?” I looked at her quickly, taking an assessment of the fleeting hair and boyish body and barely contained swagger. She was young, homosexual and fiercely alive. “I’m pretty sure I’ve been coming here since before you were legal.”
“Oh. Sorry. I just assumed you were somebody’s straight friend.”
And so it goes, and so it has gone, over and over again in the 12 years since I came barreling out of the closet. I was 31 when I finally made tranquility with myself, shedding my straight, stay-at-home suburban mom identity in a feral rush. In the awaken of that painful transition, I was blessed to find myself deeply at home. Welcomed into a community that immediately standard me as one of their own.
Sort of. Mostly. At least when they recognized me.
I am intensely feminine. I always hold been and likely always will be. Before coming out, I didn’t comprehend the vast and complex language of queerness. The d
Lots of questions:
How was that for you? Did you have to adapt to it in some way?
Have you gotten into any situations you just weren't prepared for or didn't expect?
Was it alternative than what you mind it would be or was there nothing new?
Have you had to acquire how to hide it, walking into a fresh closet?
Just share anything and as much/little as you want
When I was a kid and up into the teens I was sometimes terrified of doing things that were too girly or somehow would make people find out I was gay, even though I knew my body was female. It was always really weird and confusing. No matter what I did it was wrong and forbidden in either one way or the other.
But since then I've just been "spoiled" with the truth that it's ok for me to be mad about guys openly, and that it's ok to hold hands and embrace in public and all that (and I own a lovely habit of snogging up my SO randomly.. curious how that's gonna work out when I pass even better..).
My SO is straight, but he may yet be flexible there. It's going great so far, we're just adjusting slowly, notified that his feelings may change, but on and off it seems prefer he�