How to tell someone not to say thats gay
COMMENTARY: Why “That’s So Gay” Is Okay…Or Not
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Language is powerful. There are a lot of factors as to what gives it power (love, lust, rage, hate), and we all interpret what we notice differently based on our own experiences, our have prejudices, or whatever mood we happen to be in at the day. In this day and age, or at least in my own petite social atmosphere, people look to be more sensitive to language than they’ve ever been.
Words, phrases, and expressions that have historically been PC are no longer acceptable, depending on whom you’re speaking to. Some people think we’re in a language revolution, aggressively ridding the society of hurtful words and phrases for the betterment of mankind. Others contemplate people are hypersensitive, creating a tense environment by making others hesitant to speak their minds even if what they possess to say is harmless.
Some words and phrases are definitely not okay to say, agreed upon by the general public living in modern society (e.g. several different ways to describe black people, Coming out means telling the people around you that you’re gay, lesbian or bisexual. But who execute you tell? Do you always have to narrate someone? When is the best time to perform it? Why should you narrate other people that you’re gay, lesbian or bisexual? Straight people don't inform that, do they? Unfortunately, most people still automatically assume you are unbent. For instance, they’ll state, “Do you have a girlfriend?” And not, “Do you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend?” If you don't want to fictional you're straight, you can tell people you are lesbian, gay or attracted to both genders. This is what you call ‘coming out’. Then you're being open about yourself. You make transparent to the people around you how you experience. That's good for you, but it's also pleasant for them. Then they’ll understand you better. The phrase “that’s so gay” has traditionally been understood as homophobic. Stonewall’s Academy Report argued this position, and it will be discussed in their upcoming Education Conference. Stonewall argues that the expression has a harmful effect on immature lesbian, gay and bisexual people’s learning and well-being. Yet the initial findings from my interviews with 40 lgbtq+ youth from four universities suggests a more complex picture, with no obvious agreement on what the phrase means or its effects. Consider Joe, a 19-year-old gay pupil at an elite university. He said: “I think it breaks down barriers between the linear and gay community… I use it a lot.” Similarly, Neil, gay and aged 18, said: “I don’t come across it derogatory in any way, probably because I utter it as well.” How are we to understand a phrase that older people find homophobic, but many younger people do not find offensive and even use themselves? We can only get to an answer by listening to the voices of young people and trying to understand their perspectives. My interest in the phrase “that’s so gay” developed when I researched linear male students at sixth form colleges. These By Kevin L. Nadal, PhD(Associate Professor of Psychology, John Jay When I was a little kid, I used to hear my brothers, cousins, and friends say things like “That’s so gay!” on a pretty regular basis. I would usually laugh along, hoping with all my might that they didn’t know my secret. My parents and other adults in my life would tell me things fond “Boys don’t cry” or “Be a man!” which essentially was their way of telling me that being emotional was forbidden or a sign of weakness. When I was a teenager, there were a few boys at my high school who ridiculed me, almost everyday. When I walked by them in the halls, they called me a “faggot” or screamed my call in a flamboyant tone. I learned to saunter by without showing any reaction; I could not let them know that it bothered me, or else I would be proving to them that I was indeed gay. I didn’t tell anyone about the bullying (not my parents, teachers, or anyone) because admitting that I was being teased for being gay would mean that I was admitting to being gay. I had never felt so alone in my life. In college, it got a little better. While I was no elongated Source: Istock Spend any moment around teens, and you’re likely to hear the shared expression, “That’s so gay" — even among gay kids. If you seek them about it, as some researchers have, they often will insist that it is not intended as homophobic language, just a harmless phrase to express frustration or something similar. Really? Let me share a story with you: I married a guy who is not Jewish. When I first met my mother-in-law, who is also not Jewish and from a side of town where Jews are scarce, she was showing off a beautiful blouse she had just bought and spoke about the great deal she got on it. “I Jewed the clerk down 20 percent. Isn’t that great?” Now, she was a pleasant woman, and I’m sure she had no harmful intent with her words, but she obviously had no insight of their outcome on me, a Jewish man—which she knew I was. To her, this was just a common way to express bargaining for a lower price that had nothing to do with Judaism, but to Jewish people, it is a stubborn reminder of a harmful stereotype—that Jews are cheap, miserly, money-grubbing outsiders, not quite acceptable to the general population. Microaggressions The term “microaggression” was coined in
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Context, meaning and understanding
College of Criminal Justice – City University of New York)